BAGGAGE AND BONDAGE vs. FAITH – Step Two

Came to believe that God has all power and wisdom and that in His strength we can do all things.

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image

What do I turn to when I are feel alone, afraid, or insecure?  Grasping these idols I just identified, I am trying to move through life attached to things and people.  I see God, in all of His power and light before me, opening His arms.  How do I feel with all of the stuff and clutter and baggage and attachments dragging and weighing on me?  What do I choose to do? 

My idols are: work (until June 2011), general business, marriage, any project (to keep me from being still)

I did a little study on ‘idols’ at the end of July.  I determined the meaning of the word to be ‘anything of the work of yours hands’. 

What is the work of my hands?  Where is my effort and energy invested?  If it does not grow me closer to God or serve Him and His kingdom, if it does not bring Him glory…

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them

So it wasn’t about just ‘graven images’ but that these images were ‘made’ by man.  So in worshiping something self created, it is really self worship (control, pride, ego) and not allowing God to work.  How many areas do I limit God in by my effort?   Before June I kept myself so busy that I literally did not have time to think (or sleep).  I do this still when I obsesses over ‘fixing’.  This is hard because I don’t even see it when I am in the middle of doing it…  I need to identify early warning signs (note: learn to observe self).

Much of this changed this summer.  Sure I revert, but I am becoming very aware of myself and my needs.  When I feel ‘alone’ I typically read, pray, journal.  The weird thing about me, is I am very rarely lonely.  Yeah, part of that is having 4 kids.But I figured out today (thanks to hubby!) that I have this thing termed HSP.  I thought it was an insult or that something is wrong with me, but actually is really cool.  One of the ‘pieces’ is needing and loving time alone.  This really helped me understand ‘me’ better.  When I am afraid or insecure  I pray, cry, ask God for help.  I am OK really for the first time, heading towards… good.  I sense peace and have a true sense of joy.

“And it came to pass that as I followed him I beheld myself that I was in a dark and dreary waste. And after I had traveled for the space of many hours in darkness, I began to pray unto the Lord that he would have mercy on me, according to the multitude of his tender mercies.” (1 Nephi 8:7-8)